Frontwards

a friendly competition

shorterexcerpts:

jaimeleighfairbrother:

I have a long, long history of regrettable choices made when drunk. The worst of these may be the drunken text messages (and occasionally phone calls). I have it on good authority that we all do this, but nobody ever gives examples. I want to read the transcript of your drunken call. I want to see your drunken texts. Come on baby, I’ll show you mine…

This is my all time greatest worst text, the hall of shame inductee—or as I sometimes like to think of it, that time I got drunk and started texting what sounded like rejected Metallica lyrics.

“Drunk as such, hate my luck, change but much, so dead, so sorry, so long so carried a burden, a warden, a leaden fury. My friend, my foe, my lover, my end. Adieu.

One catch: who is actually able to remember verbatim—or close to it—their worst drunken ramblings?

That said, I do remember at one point back in college thinking the best way to win over the object of my affections at 3:30 am was to sing Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” on her voicemail.  Other drunken voicemail sung favorites include: “Shimmer” by Fuel and “To Be With You” by Mr. Big.

That original poster’s drunk text might just be the best thing I’ve ever read in my life!